Parody of How the Grinch Stole Christmas! by Dr. Seuss
When the Whos down in Whoville were in the Christmas mood, the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, was too. The Grinch adored Christmas, he loved the whole season. That’s just how it is; there isn’t a reason.
When the Grinch was younger, he didn’t have friends. His clothes didn’t follow the fashions or trends. ‘Twas the Christmas season who brought him his peace, though no one would ever buy him a roast beast. To him the meaning of Christmas was joy. Not to miss lots of school or buy a new toy.
Now when December was nearing its end, the Grinch knew that Christmas was rounding the bend. The Grinch wanted to celebrate like he was a Who, but the Whos didn’t like him. That much he knew. The Whos thought the Grinch was scary and mean. All the Grinch’s life, that’s all he had seen.
Every Christmas the Grinch had looked down, to see the Whos all snug in their town. Year after year he’d see girls and boys wake bright and early and rush for their toys. Then Whos young and old would sit down to a feast. They’d feast on who-pudding, they’d feast on roast beast. So while the Whos were happy and glad, it made the poor Grinch envious and sad. He wanted the Christmas joy from when he was younger, with a large Who-feast to quench his hunger.
The Grinch thought, “There’s no reason why I can’t have roast beast? I’ll have to go buy some, I’ll have my own feast.” All I need is some money. The Grinch looked around, but since money was scarce there was none to be found. Did that stop the Grinch? Ha. The Grinch simply said, “If I can’t buy a roast, I’ll take one instead. I’ll go to that magical place the Whos call Wal-Mart. I’ll just take a roast and put it in my cart. He didn’t think it would be that big a fuss. Those Whos always have an excessive surplus.
So when Christmas Eve came once more, the Grinch got into his car and drove to the store. Then something happened that had never before: the Grinch parked at Wal-Mart, and walked in the door. Compared a Who, the Grinch was green and gigantic. When he went into the store Whos started to panic. The Whos ran out the door, away from any harm. While one of the Whos pulled the fire alarm!
After the Grinch got roast beast he saw a big sign. It said “Sale on all presents! Only nine ninety-nine! Since the Grinch was alone in the store by himself, so he started to browse: shelf by shelf by shelf. Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums! Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!” There were so many presents for sale at Wal-Mart, and it was easy for the Grinch to fill a whole cart. The Grinch kept on going, he just had to get more. He just couldn’t stop ‘till he had the whole store. With the Grinch taking stuff of the shelves so quick, Wal-Mart was making him a shopaholic!
“STOP,” the Grinch heard a Who shout. Turns out there was one who hadn’t run out.
The Grinch turned around and saw a small Who. It was Cindy-Lou Who, who was no more than two.
She stared at the Grinch and said “Mr. Grinch, why? Why are you stealing those presents? Why?”
The Grinch explained his whole story to the Who, and young Cindy Lou told the Grinch what to do.
She said “Mr. Grinch, you’re doing it wrong. Wal-Mart is not where Grinches belong. Besides, you’re not supposed to buy your own toy. It doesn’t bring you nearly as much joy. Just hang a sock up on some hooks and some wire. It should be just above the log for your fire. Santa will come bring you a surprise. It will be way better than the stuff that you buy. Go home Mr. Grinch, don’t stay at this store.”
The Grinch said he’d never hung a sock up before. Then he drove home, he didn’t take a feast. He didn’t take toys or a scrumptious roast beast. He’d remembered what the young Who said. So he hung up a sock and got into bed.
~ ~ ~
The next day was Christmas, there was snow on the ground. The Grinch ran through his house. To the fireplace he was bound. His socks were full of toys! He had twenty at least! And below the socks was a giant roast beast.
The Grinch thought of the stuff that he’d almost stole. If he had stolen Santa would have just given him coal. Instead he’d gotten something worth more, than anything he could have taken from the store. He’d gotten some happiness, and that was his reason, for celebrating the whole Christmas season.