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We Need to Build a Wall (Parody Of “The Writing’s On The Wall” by Sam Smith)

When Trump’s elected,
A wall will be erected.
He’s spent a whole year running,
And he’ll soon be here to stay.
And when his wall is finished,
He’ll make Mexico pay!

Continue reading “We Need to Build a Wall (Parody Of “The Writing’s On The Wall” by Sam Smith)”

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Celebrating the USA: 50 States

Poem

Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas,
California, Colorado, Connecticut, and more.
Delaware, Georgia, Florida, Hawaii, Idaho,
Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, only 35 to go.

Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine,
Maryland, Massachusetts, and Michigan,
Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana,
Nebraska’s 27, #28’s Nevada.

New Hampshire, New Jersey, and way down, New Mexico,
New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio.
Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, now let’s see:
Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee.

There’s Texas, and there’s Utah, Vermont, I’m almost through,
Virginia, and there’s Washington, and West Virginia, too.
Could Wisconsin be the last one in the forty-nine?
No, Wyoming is the last one, in the fifty states that rhyme!

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Continue reading “Celebrating the USA: 50 States”

Christmas Movie Limericks

Home Alone

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Kevin’s family went away.
But poor young Kevin had to stay.
His house got robbed,
But the burglars sobbed,
And had a real bad day.

Elf

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A North Pole elf who wasn’t short
Had to move south to New York.
He didn’t fit in,
But had a great big grin,
And found a girlfriend to court.

The Santa Clause

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Scott Calvin thought Santa was a spoof,
‘Till he saw Santa fall off his roof.
So he put on the suit,
And tied up his boots.
At least now there was proof.

The Grinch Who Needed Christmas

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Parody of How the Grinch Stole Christmas! by Dr. Seuss

When the Whos down in Whoville were in the Christmas mood, the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, was too. The Grinch adored Christmas, he loved the whole season. That’s just how it is; there isn’t a reason.

When the Grinch was younger, he didn’t have friends. His clothes didn’t follow the fashions or trends. ‘Twas the Christmas season who brought him his peace, though no one would ever buy him a roast beast. To him the meaning of Christmas was joy. Not to miss lots of school or buy a new toy.

Now when December was nearing its end, the Grinch knew that Christmas was rounding the bend. The Grinch wanted to celebrate like he was a Who, but the Whos didn’t like him. That much he knew. The Whos thought the Grinch was scary and mean. All the Grinch’s life, that’s all he had seen.

Continue reading “The Grinch Who Needed Christmas”

Fun Christmas Limericks

Santa fell off of the roof,
‘Cause he got kicked by his reindeer’s hoof.
He weighed a few hundred pounds,
But he fell to the ground.
And that’s why we all think he’s a goof.

Breaking into houses gets old,
But we know that Santa’s real bold.
He doesn’t bother knocking,
He just goes in and fills stockings.
And then goes back into the cold.

President Snow’s Big Plans (Parody of O Canada)

President Snow!
He made the Hunger Games!
Killed the tributes, until just one remained.
This continued for sev’nty five years,
In the nation of Panem!
The districts didn’t,
Like it so, an uprising began.
President Snow, would like to try again!
Another nation will be like Panem.
Another nation will be like Panem.

Continue reading “President Snow’s Big Plans (Parody of O Canada)”

Something to Sing About Ontario (Parody of Something to Sing About Canada)

From Thunder Bay to Ottawa,
Then on to Hamilton.
Gone over Niagara Falls,
In a barrel.

Got really soaking wet,
In Lake Ontario.
Washed up in Kingston,
With a big smile.

I’ve been everywhere man, I’ve been everywhere… In Ontario!

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From Kingston to Ottawa,
Camped in Algonquin Park.
Then on to Sudbury,
And Sault Ste. Marie.

Helicopter on to Vaughan,
Then drenched ourselves again.
Crawled onto Prince Edward,
From the big lake.

I’ve been everywhere man, I’ve been everywhere… In Ontario!

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Ate at Slicker’s ice-cream shop,
Canoed in Sandbacks Part.
I’ve fished in East Lake,
And caught nothing.

Ferry onto Nappanee,
Caught a train to Toronto.
Went up the CN Tower,
And looked way down.

I’ve been everywhere man, I’ve been everywhere… In Ontario!

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Went on the SkyWalk,
Then scared myself to death.
But the crazy thing is,
I didn’t die!

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Went back home to explore,
My messy basement.
So now I’ll have some fun,
If I don’t get lost.

I’ve been everywhere man, I’ve been everywhere… In Ontario!

I’ve been everywhere man, I’ve been everywhere… In Ontario!

McGuinty’s Last Year at the Polls (Parody of Jingle Bells)

Last winter at the polls,
Dalton listed all his goals.
The people’s lot,
Completely thought,
His words were really true.
When election day came,
They voted him again,
A whole lot of those people,
Would now not do the same.

McGuinty,
MPP,
Made some big mistakes.
With new bill,
One-fifteen,
Laws are what he makes.

Now ev’rything seemed fine,
And no one seemed to whine.
Ev’rything was grand,
In McGuinty’s hand.
Then our premier saw,
An idea for a law,
And so McGuinty signed it,
In big letters with no flaw.

McGuinty,
MPP,
Made some big mistakes.
With new bill,
One-fifteen,
Laws are what he makes.

The school unions got sad,
The school unions got mad.
Bill one-fifteen,
Didn’t really seem,
Like it was real at all.
The unions want to strike,
Which Dalton doesn’t like.
Ev’rything remains this way,
While on goes their big fight.

McGuinty,
MPP,
Made some big mistakes.
With new bill,
One-fifteen,
Laws are what he makes.


All finished? Continue on the Shufflenet Road Trip!

Peanuts

I like peanuts,
They’re really good to eat.
They’re better than spaghetti,
Or any kind of meat.
They’re better than chili,
And they’re better than veil.
I could eat peanuts,
At every single meal!

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